What is Love? How do I give Love?

“Love is the greatest thing on earth…” – Miracle Max

Love is the driving force in life – either the giving of it, receiving it, or acting out of a lack of it.  Love is the reason we choose what we do.  It is at the basis of everything.

Love is when you give of yourself to make someone else better.  Love is when you care.  Love is when you pay attention.  You give love by caring – caring about how someone else thinks, feels, sees and lives.  You give love when you listen.  You give love when you say hello.  You give love when you take time to take care of the little things that no one else sees.

You give love when you take care of yourself.  

You give love when you make sure those around you are fed, dressed and have their basic needs met.

You give love when you clean -- whether you are cleaning up after yourself or others, or simply because it needs to be done.  You give love when you take time to find out who made the mess and teach them to clean up after themselves.  

You give love when you train your children in the fine art of living life.

You give love when you take care of your husband’s need and wants.  You give love when you notice what he lacks, without him having to ask.

You give love when you hold the door for a stranger, or smile, just for the sake of smiling.

You give love when you write.  You give love when you draw.  You give love when you sew.  You give love when you crochet or knit.  You give love when you give of yourself wholeheartedly.

You do not give love when you do it for the return.  Then your motives are selfish, and that is what you will draw to yourself, in return.

How To get a Wardrobe You Will Love

When you think of putting together a wardrobe you love, you think of fancy dressed and strappy sandals.  While these things are great, they are not what you need, most of the time.  What do you do with your life?  That is the first question you need to answer.

List everything you do with your life.  Go ahead.  I’ll make my list, and you make yours.

 -keep house

-take care of my children

-garden

-grocery shopping and other necessary shopping

-attend church

-visit friends and family

-work out

-sleep

-write, draw, sew, and create

Now, list what you wear most of the time.

-jeans and t-shirts.

Are you comfortable with this arrangement?

-Yes, but I want something more.

If you were going to change it, how would you change it?

-Nicer t-shirts and/or woven shirts for everyday wear.

Why do you wear what you wear?

-They are easy, cheep and I consider them disposable.

Is that how you want to treat yourself?

-No.

What would be the right way to treat yourself?

-With love and respect.

How does that look?

-It looks good.  It looks like I am cared for and loved.  It looks like I am ready to go someplace or have company at the drop of a hat.  I don’t have to get ready to go.  I am ready.

Would you want to go out in what you are wearing right now?

-I have before.  I suppose it depends on where I am going.  No… not really.

Then what makes it okay to wear right now.

-It is comfortable, at least in theory.

So, you’re not even comfortable, even though you are wearing ‘comfortable’ clothing, in the privacy of your own home.

-Yeah.  That pretty much sums it up.

Do you think you would be more productive, if you were comfortable?

-I might be, but I have a hard time sitting still when I am dressed up.

I didn’t ask you if you would be more productive if you were dressed up.  I asked about productivity and comfort.

-That would depend on the type of comfort.

Comfortable with how you look.  I don’t think you are comfortable with how you look when you are dressed up, or you would be very productive.  Likewise, wearing lounge clothing is a sign to shut off the productivity, so you are right about the type of comfort.

This is the key to finding out how you should dress, and how to design your wardrobe.

You need to find out what you wear to be the most comfortable with YOU and thus, productive.

I realize these are not the steps you were looking for, but this is the answer you need.  Work through it, and remember that nothing lasts forever.  What will make you comfortable now is not the same thing that made you comfortable in high school.  You are not the person you were then, and you won’t be the person you are now at this time next year.  Change is good.

Giving Love

Knowing that Love is the root cause of everything we do – either out of love or out of a lack of love, wouldn’t it make sense to intentionally give love every day, in every way possible?

I’m not talking about the fake, gushing, “Oh, aren’t you the most darling thing I’ve ever seen,” kind of thing.  I’m talking about genuine, deep down from the heart, love.  I’m talking about doing things you love, thinking about things you love, and talking about things you love.  I am talking about treating people the way you want to be treated, even when they are not loveable.

We all have our moments when we are not loveable – even if we hate to admit it, and in those moments, isn’t love the absolute best gift someone can give you?  I know when I’m behaving terribly, I need a hug, not a scolding.  I know that compassion softens my heart and lets me see the world in a new way.  

I am so thankful for those who have shown me compassion when I least deserved it -- those who have held me when I was upset, disgusted or discouraged.  Those who have let me cry, when my heart was broken, rather than telling me all the good things I have going for me, or ways I could change my outlook and get over it.  Let the emotions have their say – they are neither good nor bad.  They simply are.

When the tidal wave has passed and the calm sets in, clearness prevails.  I am able to think clearly about the situation, verse the times when my emotions have ran high and I was basically told to stuff them.  They always come back to haunt me and those around me.

In intending to give love, I make love my focus.  When love is my focus, I treat people right.  I do what is needed, willingly, happily.  I am creative and content.  I find joy in simple things.

When I don’t make love my intention, I quickly find myself mired in worry and fear.  I have a hard time making decisions, and continually second guess myself.  I become suspicious, if things don’t go the way I think they ought to.  My expectation of others becomes unrealistic.  It is not a pretty picture.

All day, this thought of intentionally giving love has been running through my head, and as I let it take root, peace and calm have taken over.  I have been able to see where I have been short changing myself, and thereby, those closest to me.  I still have a long way to go, to be the person I want to be, but I am going to get there with love and patience, not criticism and punishment.  

I intend to live my life with love, and that includes loving myself.

Love: The Driving Force

Is everything done, really done out of love or a lack of love?

Is love really the controlling force in our world?  I would say yes.  Whether someone is acting out of love or a lack of love, it is still love is still the driving force.  

Think about this in your own life for a moment.  If you act meanly towards another – hey, I know you never would, but suppose you did – would it be because you desired to be mean, or would it be because you felt unloved?  And if it was because you desired to be mean, why?  Again, it is because you don’t feel loved.  Okay.  Maybe a desire for revenge was the thought in your head… but doesn’t that stem from a lack of love?  They didn’t feel loved, and you were hurt.  You don’t feel love – especially towards them, and you want them to know it.  

It’s a lack of love.

So what about the good things we do?  Don’t they stem from love, or a desire to be loved?  Love is the controlling force behind all that is done, whether we consciously recognize it or not.  

So, while we may be able to agree to this premise on a personal basis, what about a civil basis.  Is everything done in society done out of love or a lack of love?  I believe the answer is still yes, because even when things are done on a great scale, they still come back to personal motive.  

In this little town, some have complained about the state that several properties are kept, and because they don’t like what they see, they have complained to the town council and are trying to pass new laws regarding how people keep their property.  Now, diving into this opens a whole new can of worms, but I’m not going to deal with all that.  What I am going to deal with is their motive.

Those complaining think they love this little town more than those they are complaining about.  They think they are helping make it a better place, by making everyone conform to their ideals and standards.  If you follow non-mainstream news, you will know there are examples of this taking place all the time.  These folks think they are doing good, but how does it affect others?  Not nicely.  

Sure, in a town or city situation, we all have a responsibility to one another, but does that mean one group should be able to dictate how another lives?  Is that really loving, or is it a lack of love?  I think it goes both ways.  There is a point where every parent dictates a great share of how their children live, and for the most part, it is done out of love – a desire to see the child happy and cared for.  But there comes a point where to continue to do so would not be loving.  Children grow.  They learn.  They become independent, and I believe it is a parent’s job to assist the child in becoming the best version of themselves… but that doesn’t mean it is the parent’s job to dictate what that is.  Do you see what I am saying?

The child’s best version of himself  must be dictated by the child.  The child needs to decide for himself what he wants to do with his life – what will make him happy.  What he can do out of love.  We, as parents will influence our children by what we are, so be the kind of person you want your child to be… but, back to the topic of the town and people who complain.

Is telling others how to live loving?  No.  Not in the long run.  It is controlling.  

Is wanting the best for your town loving?  Yes, but who are you to determine what is best?  Do the best with what you have, where you are.  Make sure you are truly acting in love, because trying to force someone else into your mold is not love.  It is a lack of love.  A lack of love for that person and where they are at in life.  

Old cars may not look great, but if they are part of that person’s lively hood, would you really be instrumental in taking that away?  Everything you do is either out of love or a lack of love, and you know that what you give out comes back to you many fold.  Do you want to draw in love, or a lack of love?